Sometimes I have to remember that Papa is not well mentally
Sometimes I have to ask myself to make a choice- give in or get mad
Sometimes I have to suppress being angry. Like when he becomes petulant about wanting something. And then becomes obsessed with wanting it. And then becomes outright indignant about getting it.
Sometimes I have to admit that I feel resentful.
Sometimes I feel stubborn and defiant myself, about not letting him ‘win’.
Sometimes I have to remind myself he’s not trying to win- he’s just trying to survive.
Sometimes I remember that he is like a child.
Sometimes he is sad.
Sometimes my heart breaks for him.
Sometimes – I let go.